For Dating and Danger:

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Does that New Guy you Met have a Potential for Violence?

Maybe.

You can't trust your "gut" instinct telling you that he is a great guy. Maybe he is.

But pay attention:

Learn to recognize the danger. Does your date have a tendency to be violent?

Self defense for Women, 2003

Tries to embarrass you

Attempts to control you or the date's event

Makes decisions for you

Seems inflexible - won't consider a change in plans

Acts overly jealous, even on the first date

Has sudden mood swings

Keep yourself safe while dating

Pay for half the date: this protects you from the guys who think that he he pays, you woe him something.

Date during the daytime

Go to public places

Develop a good self-image

Exercise great care in meeting/dating people you meet on line

WARNING SIGNS (Courtesy of My Sister's Place - a D.C. based shelter for battered women and children)

Are you dating someone who:

is jealous or possessive toward you?

won't "let" you have friends?

checks up on you?

won't accept breaking up?

tries to control yo by being bossy?

gives orders or makes all the decisions?

is scary?

reacts to things you say or do in a way that makes you worry and alter your natural inclinations?

threatens you?

uses or owns weapons?

is violent or has a history of fighting?

loses their temper easily?

brags about mistreating others?

pressures you for sex?

is forceful or scary in sexual matters?

thinks of you as just a sex object?

tries to guilt trip you with such saying as "if you really loved me you would...(fill in the blank)?

gets too serious about the relationship too fast?

abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take/use them?

blames you for their mistreatment of you? (See spousal abuse)

says you provoke them, "pushed their buttons." ",made them do it," or led them on?

has a history of bad relationships and alwasy blames other people for any problems?

believes that one person should be in control and have all the power in a relationship while the other person should be submissive?

your friends and family have warned you about in terms of seeing a threat to your personal safety?

My Sister's Place (Battered Women's Shelter, D.C.)

Phenomenal Women

Personal Relationships and Danger: Violence and Abuse

Abusive Personal Relationships

Gay, Lesbian, Transgenders

Violence in the gay and lesbian community is frequently covered up. The rules and practices for protecting yourself from a violent date or relationship apply to you as well.

" onclick="return FIX.track(this);">Youth Resources, GLT

Suggested reading

May I Kiss You? By Michael Domitrz

Dating Violence: Young Women in Danger Edited by Barrie Levy, Seal Press

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